Today’s Goals
- Mini Review: Pro-social & Love
- Catch up: Love
- Consider the ‘bank account’ analogy of relationships
- Explore positive relationship behaviours o Gratitude, Capitalization, Forgiveness, etc.
- Note: some findings from today qualified/contrasted by next reading
Mini-Review
- Beyond the cognitive approach, what other kinds of findings support the idea of ‘intuitive prosociality’?
Children exhibit prosocial behaviour – developmental findings in children Neuroscience: automatic vs. controlled behaviours
- What are the ‘big 4’ (quadrumvirate model) kinds of love? Compassionate, companionate, attachment, passionate
- What are similar, ‘big 4’ names for Eros, Storge, & Agape?
Eros: passionate
Storge: companionate
Agape: compassionate
Romantic Relationships
- The bad… o Divorce o Cheating o Abuse
Reading makes argument of the internet as a contributing factor to the bad aspects of romantic relationships
- The good…
- Capitalization o Gratitude
- Positive response to conflict o Quality shared time
More interest in what goes right in romantic relationships Ways individuals spend time together
Relationships
- Bank account analogy o Positive deposits o Negative withdrawals
Important to have positive deposits to counter the effects of negative withdrawals that can happen
- ‘Bad is stronger than good’
- Good is more typical o about 5:1 for healthy relationship
For every positive deposit, there is no 1:1 ratio (those relationships tend to lead toward divorce) Something negative/hurtful can cause more damage than positive deposits in a relationship
Capitalization
- Sharing positive news or event
- Can build intimacy
- Yet potential for vulnerability
- Responses of partner key
- Responses to positive events may predict future relationship better
When people have positive responses – seem to be more important than the negative ones
Capitalization: when people share news (positive or negative events)
When positive events are shared – creates ability to built intimacy along with potential for vulnerability Responses of the partner is significant to the outcome of that sharing event
4 responses that can appear: active/constructive responses are the ones that lead to positive outcomes
Creates more satisfaction within a relationship and help keep individuals together Positive event appear to be more important to share
Gratitude
- And communal strength o Non-contingent support; responsibility for other’s needs o Compare casual friend to close family member
- Correlation (r = .52) o Gratitude “I express my gratitude for the things that my partner/friend does for me
- Communal strength “How happy do you feel when doing something that helps your partner/best friend?” Six-week longitudinal correlation too
Interpersonal relationships: 1:1 mental ratio of who owes who what
Communal relationship: primary concern is the individuals well-being – feel responsible for other persons needs
- Seen as a hallmark of intimacy
Those with high gratitude tend to show higher levels of communal strength
Gratitude level can predict communal strength at a later period in time – gratitude tends to come first (communal strength follows)
- Friendship gratitude intervention, 4 conditions o Express more gratitude (& report) o Pay attention to daily activities (& report) o Recall & share positive activities with friend o Think about (only) friend gratitude (& report)
Positive Response to Conflict
- Conflict is inevitable…
- Forgiveness o Lack is a serious problem o Correlational link o Dyadic, longitudinal study Forgiveness seems to be important
Problems arise when forgiveness does not occur/exist
Hard to move on post negative experience – difficult to make positive deposits due to a ‘block’ (inability to accept)
- Humor
- Sometimes useful, but depends (type and person) o Conflict studies and affiliative humor
- Satisfaction, closeness, solutions, distress
Not so good to move on from negative events in a romantic relationship (specifically aggressive humour)
Individual differences: those who are anxiously attached, more avoidant
Affiliate of humour: using it in a way to lift both individuals – generally helpful
Spending Time Together
- Self-expansion theory Pre-dates Positive Psychology
Feel like we have this expanding sense of self – psychological self concept grows
When you connect with someone in this new way – learn interesting things about them
- Importance of novel and arousing or ‘exciting’ activities o (vs. boredom –cf., Dr. Harasymchuk at CU) Boredom: lack of self expansion
- Correlational support with satisfaction
- Experimental studies o Novel & arousing activity o Mundane activity o No activity control
- Novel & arousing increase relationship quality
Positive Relationship Behaviours
- Useful for satisfaction & feeling good
- Builds strength over time
- Positive deposits buffer later ‘withdrawals’
One thing they’re good food – make us feel good
Today’s Goals
- Mini-review: Love & relationships
- Catch up: Positive activities & self-expansion. Consider positive psychology in the context of clinical psychology
- Consider some critique to the value of positive psychology
- Discuss future of positive psychology, applications
Mini-review: Love & relationships
- Describe one gender difference in conceptualizations of love
Men: romantic view
Women: companionate view
Differences are not very dramatic
- Which conceptualization of love tends to be higher among collectivist (cf. individualist) cultures? Measure of Eros – similar to passionate ideal of love
Higher in individualist countries
Collectivist: higher scores on Storge (more companionate, friendships, trust)
- What is ‘capitalization’ in relationships? Sharing of positive news and events
- What is ‘communal strength’ in relationships?
Notion we are doing things for one another out of caring or concern
Motivation being the well-being of the other person – strong sense of intimacy and connection
- How can communal strength be increased? Expressions of gratitude
- What are two positive responses to conflict in relationships?
- Humour : if done correctly
- Forgiveness
Clinical Psychology
- Clinical psych currently/historically follows illness ideology o History of psychodynamic & hospital influence o concerned with problems (pathology) o problems are in kind (categorical)
- internal, similar to biology (rather than context) o role is to diagnose & treat person
- Clinical psych uses medical language:
- symptom, disorder, pathology, illness, diagnosis, co-morbidity, treatment, doctor, patient, clinic…
Concept of Disorder • Do these ‘exist’?
- (Nature deficit disorder)
- ADHD
- Nicotine dependence
- Body dysmorphic disorder
- Hypoactive sexual desire disorder
- Orgasmic disorder
- From 1952 to 1994, the DSM increased from 86 to almost 900 pages, and the number of mental disorders increased from 106 to 297.
Social Construction Approach
- These things do not ‘exist’; science does not make them so
- Consider race, gender, class, etc.
- Discussing the values underlying disorders is useful
- Consider culture, power, self-interest o g., homosexuality, paraphilias, previous slide • Can still use science to study phenomena
Positive Clinical Psychology Approach
- ‘Problems in living’ (interaction of person, situation and culture) o a purely internal disease.
- Students and teachers vs. patients and doctors
- Prevention & enhancement; not just treatment
- Assess strengths and assets o Positive approach does not (yet?) say how to do this, but rather says it should be done o Will probably use similar techniques
Beyond Positive Psychology
- Maybe PP is not such a good idea after all…
- Many ‘positive’ constructs are not always beneficial; context matters
- Consider an abused spouse o Forgiveness? o Optimism? o Kindness?
- Positively biased recall
- The main effect may not persist over time
- Ultimate ‘positivity’ depends on context
- Therefore o Must study context/interactions (therapy context) o Positivity may not tell us about difficulty o Must consider long-term consequences
- Most things are not ‘positive’, just have ‘psychology’